They say – and I have no idea who “they” may be – that when life hands you lemons, make lemonade. It’s a great saying and I am sure thousands of gallons of proverbial lemonade have been made by people who have been thrown plenty of curveballed lemons.
To be quite honest, I am horrible about turning my lemons into lemonade. I usually just throw my lemons on the ground, stomp on them and all the while whine about my problems and de”lemons” (get it? De”lemons” aka dilemmas:) I might take my lemons and throw them at mailboxes or a nearby cat – but I never want to add any sugar or maturity to my problems.
I always boast that I am becoming more mature that I was the day before and that I am starting to get the whole “grownup” thing down more and more – but the slightest wind can knock all my little duckies out of their straight line and maybe even completely out of the water.
Right now, my eyes are being my two biggest life “lemons.” As I type this, I can only see out of one eye and some might compare one of my eyes to Rudolph’s little red nose – except way less cute and singable. I went to the doctor yesterday and they warned me that if I didn’t take care of my eyes, I could go blind.
I panicked. Blindness is not a part of my 1o year plan. My prayers became a string loop of words “please don’t let me go blind, please don’t let me go blind, please don’t let me go blind.” My eyesight yesterday was so bad that I couldn’t see more than a glare of light and vague shapes and colors.
Today, I woke up and the eyesight improved ever so slightly. With that minor improvement, I stopped panicking. My duckies began swimming back into a line and I relaxed knowing my eyesight would eventually return to their normal state.
However, that whole panic attack left me wondering why I could be so easily shaken. I could still see great out of one of my eyes and the rest of my health is very solid. I can still do my job and I have great friends who care for me. There are many people in the world who have it far worst, and they have pitchers of lemonade. I had a tiny problem and I turned it into a squashed lemon on the dirty sidewalk of my reactions.
So. No one likes life lemons. But you know what lemons are good for? They are great at giving you a big sour punch to the reality of your true self. I wish I could promise to zest the next life lemon that comes my way- but I know that I am too stupid to mature that quickly. I need lemons to show me where I need to grow.
Sometimes I need a little lemon to find my paper cuts.